Being a Friend

If you were to walk around with me here in Quelimane, you would hear numerous people call me “patron”, the Portuguese word for “boss”.  My response to them is “Eu sou nao patron.  Eu sou amigo.”  Which means…I am not a boss, I am a friend.  And they often smile and nod.    

I respond this way because I am not anyone’s boss.  But more importantly I respond this way to challenge the thinking and the system that makes people call me “boss” just because of my skin color and my gender.     

In the history of Mozambique, South Africa and many other countries around the world, including the United States, it has been white men who have been the bosses.  And I’m not just talking about bosses of companies, but bosses in life.  Throughout history it has been the white men who have been in control of businesses, organizations, families, communities, religions, tribes and nations.  With that control comes power.  And whether that power be financial, political, social, or economic, it has allowed men, and particularly white men, to have control over people, communities and resources….thus making them bosses in many facets of life.

The historical impact of colonization and oppression of places like Mozambique, has promoted the belief that white men are the bosses.  And as “bosses” these men have power and must be respected.  Thus why I, a white male, am called “boss” in the market, by people, some of whom could actually be real bosses.  

There is no question that many of the bosses here in Mozambique are Mozambiquan men (not women), black men, not white men.  But I can’t help but to think that maybe white men still are the “bosses”, not just here in Mozambique but around the world.  I mean it seems to me that white men still have a great deal of power and respect throughout the world.

As a white male from the US I have privileges and advantages just because of the color of my skin, my body parts and what country is listed on my passport.  These unearned privileges (being born a white male in the US), have given me opportunities and power, that others who do not have these privileges have not been given. 

When a Mozambiquan calls me, a white male, “boss” it is because of my skin color and gender.  It is because of those unearned privileges. Calling me “boss” continues to perpetuate the oppression that has created the situation in the first place.  It makes me (unnecessarily) more important than the other person.  All because of things (skin color and gender) that I have no control over, but have afforded me more respect and “importantness”, aka being called “boss”.     

In responding to the call of “boss” I am trying to challenge the very beliefs and systems that has created and continues to create the idea that only white men are bosses. 

But even importantly I am desperately trying to express that “I am not a boss, I am a FRIEND”. And it seems to me that Mozambique and the whole world might be a little better place with more friends than bosses.  So be a Friend!